Extracted from Law360
With Mother's and Father's Days around the corner, it's a great time to reflect on just how often our parenting instincts show up at work — especially in a crisis.
The two of us are currently in different places in our motherhood journey. One of us has a five-year-old son, whose routine crises include missing a goal at soccer or breaking a favorite toy. The other has three daughters who are now young adults.
But something we've both learned is that when things go sideways at work — and they do — the fundamentals we've learned as parents are the same ones that help us lead our clients through their most challenging times: Prepare, prepare, prepare. Act first, assess later. Stay steady. Communicate clearly. And take a timeout when you need to.
Prepare yourself and your team ahead of time.
One of the most effective parenting tools is preparation. With younger kids, that might mean walking them through what to expect before their first dentist visit, a new class or even trick-or-treating. The goal is to make the unknown feel a little more familiar.
And as kids grow up, the need for preparation doesn't go away, it just evolves as new situations include overnight camp, college visits and more than a few emotionally charged conversations. Talking things through in advance, helping kids visualize how a situation might unfold and giving them space to think ahead can make all the difference.
The same holds true in a crisis. A well-prepared team is a confident team. So much of successfully navigating a crisis depends on what you've done before anything goes wrong. Do you have a plan? Does your team know the plan? Do they know their roles and what to do if someone's unavailable?
It's not enough to have a binder on a shelf. You've got to walk through scenarios, test your process, and create space for questions and feedback. Just like kids do better when they've had a chance to mentally prepare, your team will rise to the occasion when they've had time to practice crisis response in calmer moments.
Crisis prep isn't just operational, it's emotional. It builds confidence and steadiness. And when the real thing hits, people will be able to stay grounded and lead through it.
There's no time for blame — prioritize action first, accountability later.
When a crisis hits — whether it's a cybersecurity incident, a whistleblower complaint or a PR firestorm — the first instinct for many people is to start asking the five W's. Who messed up? What happened? When did it start? Why didn't we catch it? Where did we go wrong?
As lawyers, we've both been there. And as moms? Same story. Whether it's a toddler hovering over a mysterious mess on the carpet or a teenager calling from a questionable situation late at night, the urge to interrogate can be strong.
But, in the heat of the moment, asking those questions too early can actually do more harm than good. In both parenting and corporate crisis management, the priority isn't blame — it's containment. What's happening right now, and what needs to be done first to keep things from getting worse?
When one of us had kids in their teens, we had a rule: If you're in trouble, call me. I will pick you up — no questions asked ... until the next morning. The point was simple: Their safety and well-being come first, and they needed to know that they could rely on us as a parent to be there for them. We absolutely will discuss their decisions and how to make better choices in the future, but that will come later.
The same rule applies to crisis management. A company in crisis needs to act fast and show leadership, not get tangled up trying to assign fault before the facts are even clear. Leaders also need to know that they can talk openly to and rely on their counsel, and lawyers cannot help their clients if they don't have a relationship of trust or if their primary concern is about finger-pointing.
There will be time for accountability after the crisis is under control. But at the start, it's about triage. And that's where steady leadership makes all the difference.
Know whether your team members are microwaves or Crock-Pots.
No two people handle a crisis the same way. Some jump into action before the full sentence is out of your mouth. Others need to sit with the facts, let things simmer and come back with a response later. At one of our former organizations, we had a shorthand for this: microwaves versus Crock-Pots.
Microwaves are fast processors — they want to move quickly, make a call and get to the next step. Crock-Pots need time. They absorb, reflect and often surface insights that would've been missed in the rush. And when you're building or leading a crisis response team, you need both. The key is to know who's who, and preferably, to know that ahead of time.
The same goes for parenting. Every kid reacts to stress differently. Some kids need time and space, others want to talk it through right away, and still others will argue their case like a seasoned litigator. Crisis moments, whether in the office or at the dinner table, require attorneys to read the room and adapt accordingly.
Should we lay it all out and ask for a quick decision? Or should we deliver the facts and give the client time to process? Do we need to create a space for discussion, or will this go better if we let the client take a beat and come back on their own?
Understanding how your team members process information is just as important as the message you're delivering. And when tensions are high, it's often the way you communicate — not just what you say — that keeps the group grounded and moving forward.
Don't just bring me the problem, bring a solution.
In the early stages of a crisis, it's natural for people to focus on what went wrong. This kind of analysis is important, but you cannot stay in that moment for too long or look to others to problem-solve.
That's why, as moms, we have a simple house rule: If you're bringing me a problem, you also need to bring a proposed solution. It doesn't have to be perfect, and it probably won't be the final answer. But the act of thinking through a path forward builds muscle memory. It teaches kids ownership and keeps conversation moving.
The same principle applies in corporate crisis management. We're not looking for polished answers to all the questions that arise in a crisis situation, we're looking for people who are thinking critically and prepared to offer creative solutions. When stakeholders come to the table with even a rough idea, they signal that they're part of the solution, not just dropping the problem in someone else's lap.
This mindset is especially important in fast-moving situations. The most helpful people in a crisis aren't necessarily the ones with the most expertise. They are usually the ones who bring energy, ideas and a willingness to collaborate.
Bring the energy you want to receive.
In any high-stress moment, people tend to reflect back the energy that's coming at them. If you show up frantic, nervous or visibly upset, that energy spreads fast. But if you stay calm and focused, others tend to settle into that rhythm too. This is just as true in a corporate crisis as it is in a household full of kids.
As parents, staying grounded is often half the battle. Whether it's a toddler midtantrum or a teenager spiraling about any one of the many things teenagers spiral about, how we respond sets the tone. Meet chaos with chaos and things escalate. But bring calm, and we can help bring them back to center and teach them how to do the same.
For lawyers, this becomes even more important. In a room full of cross-functional stakeholders — some microwaves, some Crock-Pots — all with different roles and stress thresholds, people are often watching how you respond. How you show up matters.
This is where channeling your inner mom comes in handy. Lower the temperature in the room. Whether you're advising from inside or outside the company, your calm presence not only generates confidence in your leadership, it also helps others feel safe enough to think clearly, speak honestly and move forward.
And when someone on the crisis team has to talk to a regulator, face the media or update the board, you want them to remain calm and clear-headed.
Sometimes, you just need a moment away.
Every parent knows the power of a quiet corner: a time and place away from a high-stress situation, and a moment to take a breath, step away from the swirl of emotion and reset. Giving an excited toddler — or an overwhelmed parent — a few minutes to cool down before rejoining the conversation with a little more control and a lot less yelling often works wonders.
That same tool has value in a crisis. When things start to spiral, the room gets loud, the conversation stops being productive or anxiety starts driving decision-making, it's okay to call a pause.
In corporate settings, this might mean ending a meeting early, giving people space to process or even saying, "Let's all take 30 minutes and come back with fresh eyes." It might feel counterintuitive when urgency is high, but a well-timed reset can often save hours of confusion, missteps and unproductive emotionally charged responses later.
Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to not move at all — at least just for a moment.
Takeaways and Conclusion
Whether you're dealing with a toddler meltdown, an overwhelmed teenager, a corporate data breach or a high-stakes internal investigation, the fundamentals of crisis management and parenting aren't all that different.
The truth is that crises often feel overwhelming in the moment. So can parenting. But both become more manageable when we focus on the people, not just the problem. When we slow down, lead with steadiness and draw on the lessons we've learned, we come out stronger.
As a final thought from two people who share a love of most things Bruce Springsteen, there is a chance that, regardless of how hectic and stressful it gets, maybe, just maybe, "Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny."[1] In the end, it's about finding the humor and lessons in the chaos, knowing that with time, even the most challenging moments can become stories we laugh about and learn from.
To all the parents and parental figures out there: We see you. Keep showing up and keep showing yourself a little grace. Happy Mother's and Father's Day.
[1] "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)," Bruce Springsteen.